almost paradise

I think I said I'd write something today. Looks like I'm writing something...right now.

I am tired. I feel like it's been a year since I've slept, and I think that I need to take a look into serious meditation or something like that because there is no way I can get all of my thoughts straight. Too much stress, but it will be over soon. A month from now I will be gearing up for the end, and then I will be off in paradise. so close.

I haven't been writing much for myself lately and that's sort of depressing. I think I need a bit more me-time. I need more self reflection, but there isn't enough time in a day for me to stay sane and still have time to look back and stuff. I end up spending all free time either calming down or gearing up. Go go go go go go go. It's all I do now it's a wonder I'm still breathing.

I've been breathing though, mainly through my nose. I got new shoes today and I can't wait till it's not supposed to rain so I can wear them and a skirt and it is finally spring. It is finally into the seasons that aren't dreary and gross, which means it's time to bring on the sunshine. and the beach.

I miss the beach. when I wakl home around dusk it always smells like the beach does with the wet leaves and the wind and everything it's just so nice. I wish I could live there, but I can't it's too much of a hassle. I need to vacuum my room...

I guess that's all then, I think that after this show is over I will have a lot more time to self reflect. Right now I'm finding it hard to become a three-dimensional person without complaining or crying or something, I'm such a sap.