i get by

It's the people that knew me intimately before my last eye surgery that I feel like understand me best. It's silly to think that way, but the difference is incredibly obvious when we say go out to eat somewhere, I feel a whole lot more confident being with someone who knows how much I can and can't see, and takes the reigns on reading a menu, helping me down stairs, etc. It seems that a lot of people who have met me in the past two years forget about me not being able to see, as it has not been a big issue for them to have to help. At university I have handled myself in such a way that I needed limited help nee a couple of things. It just is obvious to me, that's all. I guess I've been thinking about my surgery a lot, because a couple people who were important to me then are not anymore, and it sort of hurts a lot, I still care about them, and I'm sure they care about me, but it's different now. I can't bring cantelope and watch shrek, they won't make me eggs for dinner, it's just sort of changed, and it's hard to accept that, I guess. I have been sort of thinking that maybe we could be friends again, but that's a really sharp maybe to have to think about. They've needed me this week, and I've been there. Not as much as I would like, but, well, I can't. Anyways, what else, I've been tired and working myself too hard lately, but I'm frustrated with myself so I'm working towards a better, healthier me. I guess i just need to be inside my own head, sit there and enjoy myself for me not enjoy myself for anyone else... that won't make sense to anyone but me, but I am okay with that. I wish I had a dog, because I feel like it would do me good. then I'd have an excuse to go outside for walks as opposed to looking like a retiree. I just want to start work tomorrow, It's supposed to be warm this week, I plan on dresses and skirts. I want either a mint green skirt, white dress, or red skirt. NOW. fIND ME CHEAP CLOTHING.