preparing for summer

Hola, I guess I haven't written in like a month, so here it goes for a short post and more later, I promise.

Summer reading list:
hunger games
northender abbey
great expectations
wuthering heights
one flew over the coockoo's nest
the dome


and probably many others that I'm forgetting, but for now those are the ones on my list, the priority. I really can't wait to lay on the beach and listen to books and be warm, and not have to worry about eighty papers that are due or the show or being late, or any of that. I just want to get done this, twelve days, just twelve days.

I did not drink enough water today. I haven't been feeling myself lately, I've been feeling very uncomfortable and I need more water and hot chocolates, they seem to help my body feel better and make me feel more like myself. I really should be writing my theories position paper right now, but I promised so I will continue. I haven't been writing poetry either, which is not a bad thing since I've been super busy and I've neededto just relax when I've had time to relax, but I have a deadline which is monday for an article and I wish I wrote more poetry everyday again, maybe come exam time when I only have one huge exam I can take breaks to just relax and write.

My goal for today is to atleast get a start on my position paper and my thesis for my final, and then set up a studying schedule, and do some yoga. I miss having constructed yoga times, I'd also like some hot crossed buns. With butter! I miss my dad. I miss my whole family actually, I miss my brother and sister, and my mom. I am going home for easter to recharge, I can't wait to be back to myself. I'm already there, going out with friends and reading things for fun again oh my I can't wait. And ice cream... Man, I love ice cream.

So I've been thinking lately and I am happy. I have great friends, and a great family and I just think that regardless of the things that are going on around me, I just want to smile because there isn't really a reason not to. It was a beautiful day today, I am twenty years old and I love breathing and waking up to a cold room, and doing five downward dogs a day. I love lemonade and laughing hard. Did you know that if you laugh, like really belly laugh everyday you live seven days longer? Even if that isn't true, why would that make you not want to laugh more?

This has turned out to not be short and I don't really care, I actually don't know what to make for dinner and that's why I continue to type. What should I wear out tonight? I hate it when my thoughts won't calm down, when I have been thinking about hunger games and primrose's face and the game of thrones and john snow and boromir and somebody that i used to know and final that big stupid final and my wrting and marks and london and my best friend leaving the country and me leaving the country and a kegger rolling above my head and a steak dinner and easter and making sure i dont drink too much or too little and holding still but not and drinking enough water and eating trail mix or not or having a spoonful of scercream and that thesis or this thesis or that quotation or this topic or some sort of brecht bullshit or if his name is really douche-ain or something more french, or if that forty percent paper i wrote last week was good enough or if i'm good enough or if he thinks about me anymore, or if he does, or she does, and if he thinks about me everyday or if they want to get sushi or if i should wear flats tonight and if it'll rain this weekend.

all of these stupid things in my head, I want to just lay around and watch the game of thrones, and think inside my head, and eat sushi with my girlfriend.

I want to see a concert, you can really lose yourself in them you know, I need a drink.