C;

It smells like eye cleaner in here.

It smells like acid, really, they clean my eyeballs with acid and tell me to come back more often. As if I need any more toxic sludge around my face. As if I need any more busy streets, headaches, and smog thrifting through my body.

I'm going to try to make this not angry.

The funny thing is is that everytime I come here I crave that acid smell. I don't know why I like it so much, but it's oddly comforting...it surrounded me and kept me safe when I needed it most. That sterile cleanliness that drowns out the woes of anyone else lulls me to sleep.

I sound like a drug addict.

I just feel like eating. Am I too tired to honour what I need? I need a break. I had all this work planned for this week, when really I want to read the books and not write the essays. If I have the time I'm going to grab the books I need and then do the papers I need to do next week. I made this decision, and I promise myself to relax a bit this week. I don't want to hit a breaking point this semester. I want to do yoga and drink blueberry tea and eat chocolate with english muffins and butter, and a large glass of orange juice and a pile of poetry books in a coffee shop with my head resting on his shoulder.

I'd also like to laugh with my girls, laugh loudly and watch disney movies and sing along. I want to go dancing, and smile.

I want to smile a lot. Don't be stressed.

Talking like this is stressing me out. ERrrrrrrrrrrrrgrrrrrrrrg.


Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.