I don't want to feel distant, and yet I find myself distancing myself, and I don't know why. I want to be close, but lately I can't uphold my readings, my work, my sanity and get this whole social life together... I'm sorry.
I knew this would happen, I'm trying I really am. What else can I do? They wonder why I'm not at home, it's because I have things to do I am busy. I am doing my best, I am trying my best to smile everyday. I do smile everyday, but I have tired eyes, and tired legs and back, and chest, I'm tired of breathing. Give me a break. I don't like talking all the time, I need to sit and be quiet sometimes. Let me be me, please.
I feel not far away from myself that's the thing too, because I love being in the theatre, I love reading and doing work, I'd rather be busy than not busy, and I'm doing what I love, but it's hard work and it exhausts me... I don't need to explain myself to anyone, so this is over.
I hate when people don't answers texts, ever. rude.
I'd like to learn more meditation, I'm working on it, and it helps but for the most part I get frustrated because I need to do a lot of work right now and everyone else doesn't. Shit I'm talking about it again.
It's springtime, it is, the weather may not reflect it but to me it is. I don't want to wear my boots or coat anymore, I'll be cold and happy thankyouverymuch. I eed something to release all of this stress. Any ideas?
didn't think so.
it's quiet,
and it's sort of a jump start,
but I need it,
in the dark like a spark
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