something in

I watched V for Vendetta last night which rings true and whole into the play we've been working on. I've tried to understand everything, to understand why this play knocks me out so hard or why I want to be more involved in the political radicalism of it all. I'm not a communist, but I am beginning to strengthen my values in equality more and more as I hear songs of protest and anti-capitalist facades everywhere.

What I wanted to say was that on my other blog that I wrote last year, I wrote this a lot:

I don't know you, or have ever been around you, but you are special to me, and I love you.

At that moment in V for Vendetta, I burst into tears. Why is it that something so hard, heartfelt and unique has to be shattering? It's atear down, a shake down, I guess I call it. Why is it so derailing, so stripping? the fact that someone you have never met hears your thoughts in their head and replies back with love?

I realise on this blog I haven't been much in endorsing in love. I think it's because lately it's been either a distant or a too close thing. I need a balance, a happy medium, and I think I know how to balance it out now. I need to forget about the way I look, what people think, what the concerns of the media and ultimately the concerns of other people are, and rewrite my thoughts, to come back to caring again. I've never lost it, it's just been masked by an arc of good intentions with schoolwork.

I have fallen in with society, maybe not ours but the people in it. I have the utmost faith in people that they will love eachother, and if they don't I'll write that off. Regardless of their backgrounds, their attitudes towards me or even not towards me, I know I KNOW that if that is what they need, I will love them. And I do. I have a hard time not lending my heart out to anyone who needs it, that's probably why it feels so heavy sometimes.

My love weighs a ton.

But it does, and it's a constant within my life and I can't help that. I am entrenched in smiling, in the betterment of the people around ,e.

so, it's inevitable to end on this note, but,

I love you