lobsters

I've been up at the trailer for the past couple days, I haven't showered and I haven't been around many people but my family. I am excited to go home however, as much as I was very excited to come up here I've had a lot of sunburns and ice cream, bbq and fancy drinks in the dark. I have been having a great time, but I am ready to get back to my room and do a work out and write the speech that I'm giving on friday.... Shit, I need to write... Everyone cross their fingers and toes for me, just god damn do it right now. GOALS FOR RIGHT NEOW: RELAX. BE HAPPY. stop worrying about money relax, did i say relax? read up onf rankfurt WRITE workout everyday drink more water I think I've got it, I mean...I'm not perfect. I get upset easilly, and I'm tired of being very uprtight and stressed out a lot. I'm ready to grow up anytime now, I;m trying to come to terms with myself... I think I need to make a change. I've been saying that for a while, maybe I should actually make the change. I'm debating about throwing out all of my memories... I may... I'm on a health kick I guess, not doing so so well, maybe I should just stop eating sugar altogether..I've been thinking about doing a cleanse too, but I sort of like the way I look. I know I say that, and I do believe it, but I would just like to actually feel confident about myself for once. I try.I haven't stopped trying. Is there two p's in stopped? It is so hot in this place right now, and I am burnt to a crisp and tired, and could just go for like...a long cold ish shower after a workout and then watching new girl until I fall asleep. That is seriously what I'm thinking of doing tomorrow afternoon, along with something small and important that I can't put here. Anyways, I'm going to be okay. I am okay. I am going to make a change, and be positive and confident. And I am going to stop worrying about money at this moment right now. I will work when I can, and volunteer while I can't, and dream about wing nights and beer in the UK until I get there, and smile everyday.